Expectations/Pressures from Mexican Culture on Dating as a Young Latina

By Gabriella Landeros

There are common stereotypes that Mexican families have strong conservative traditions when it comes to dating. One common stereotype is dating within one’s culture.

It may have been like this a long time ago specifically for our grandparents and great-grandparents during a time where things were more traditional, and the world wasn’t so modern. As a 22 year-old Latina I can say first hand that things have changed tremendously, at least for my family. Times have changed and my parents have coped with things they were not used to when they were my age. I constantly hear from my parents how strict it was when they were growing up.

When love and culture clash:

It all comes down to your family, and how easy they are on coping with traditional change. If a family is really close to their rural Mexican roots, they will have their own set of customs such as going out in a group, instead of alone with the date. For example, in Mexico, one common expectation is getting the father’s approval since he is the head of the household. For women, the guidelines are more strict because the father is letting their little girl go off with another man.

Debora Hernandez, a senior at the University of California, Riverside stated, “As an individual you always want to please your parents and make them proud, but I have always been very independent and moved to the beat of my own drum.”

Victoria Servin, an editorial-translator intern for Latinitas and Linguistics and Translation student at the University of Texas at El Paso, explains how she followed her mother’s wishes, “Personally I didn’t want a boyfriend in high school so it didn’t really bother me too much. I never really felt the need to rebel against my parents and I didn’t do it out of spite, I guess I just agreed.”

In Mexico, your family is your biggest dating pressure.

Essentially, you are not only dating the man/woman, but you are dating the family; almost becoming part of the family in which they expect you to hold conservative values. Another common conception is that girls are not officially allowed to date until they turn 15, the age they become a woman and have the option to have a quinceañera.

When asked about dating in high school at a young age, Victoria Servin stated, “My mother didn’t want me to have a boyfriends because she didn’t want me to fall under the hispanic teen pregnancy statistic. She wanted me to go to school, or travel, she didn’t want me to date anyone.”

Today the Mexican-American culture is really not much different from other cultures in the U.S. Like all concerned parents, my parents did have some influence over who I dated. They wanted to meet them and learn more about them, rather than “I’m going out with so and so.” And questions most parents ask, “Where did you meet him?” “What does he study?” “How old is he?” etc.

On the other hand, some parents are less eager to want to meet every person their daughter dates. Servin comments, ”Most mexican moms want to know who you go out with, my mom doesn’t want to meet anyone; I think it’s because no matter who I date, it’s not going to be good enough.”

Today, women are also seen as more independent and as the breadwinners of the house. Melissa Garcia, a graduate from the University of California, Riverside states, “I think my parents main concern is that I date someone that can support me, but as a 2012 Latina, that is not needed anymore. I think I am capable of fending for myself.”

We all have different experiences especially since we all come from different backgrounds. What are yours?

Read the original article on Latinitas Magazine.

The Importance Of Being Bilingual

By Gabriella Landeros

In the diverse world we live in there is a necessity to know more than one language, or at least the ability to be able to hold a conversation in a language other than your native tongue. In the United States, for example, Spanish is the second most common language and in some parts it’s the language most spoken. The ability to know another language helps maintain international relationships, and it helps extremely with your career. For some jobs it’s even mandatory to know another language. You are always going to find someone who’s English is not their native language, and just displaying an ability to speak another language says a lot about your character.

For many Latinos, speaking both English and Spanish comes in handy depending on the setting. According to the Pew Hispanic Center, “About 60% of bilingual Hispanic workers usually speak more English than Spanish at work (29%), or use only English at work (33%). Widespread Spanish language usage at work is relatively rare among bilingual workers.” When it comes to speaking Spanish at home, “English/Spanish speaking Latinos are about evenly divided in their use of Spanish and English.” All in all, Spanish is always a great plus and quality to have.

For Melisa Garcia, a graduate from the University of California, Riverside, knowing Spanish is like she has a “second identity.” Garcia stated, “I am able to help others who are new to this country, and it is all a chain. I can only use it for positive things. My children will benefit from it and will help others. It will benefit me as well, in my writing and for work.”

In my case, I grew up with English and Spanish, but when I was younger I didn’t find the real importance of Spanish. I also had a bad habit of responding in English when my parents and grandparents spoke to me in Spanish. It was probably because I didn’t feel comfortable speaking the language, especially since I got frustrated when I couldn't remember how to say something in Spanish. For whichever reason, like all kids, I was young and naive.

It wasn’t until I entered middle school that I found the importance of knowing another language because at times I had the opportunity to help someone interpret or translate English to Spanish and vice versa. The point in my life where I fell in love with knowing more than one language was when I got to college and spent a year abroad in Spain. I felt the benefits of mastering two languages because I helped my roommates in Spain with their English. I learned that if I can help someone with a language that is not their native tongue, and if I continued speaking Spanish, the possibilities are endless. Once I came back from studying abroad I became a Spanish tutor and graduated with a Minor in Spanish.

Alexandra Landeros, Public Relations & Outreach Director for the Farm and Ranch Freedom Alliance and Founder/Owner of Roots Public Relations, an independent agency promoting environmental stewardship and cultural heritage, states, “Knowing Spanish has given me an advantage in getting certain jobs where reaching out to the Latino community is important, it has helped me meet new friends I wouldn't have met if I didn't speak Spanish, and it's expanded my reading and film viewing options.”

When someone is bilingual, they have a window of opportunities in comparison to someone who only knows one language.  There is no better feeling than starting to learn a new language. It doesn’t matter what language it is, the only thing that matters is that it fascinates you enough to learn.

“Most major cities in the United States have another major language besides English. Knowing more than one language helps you become a better communicator. It gives you certain advantages over others who only speak English, or who only speak a foreign language,” added Alexandra.

In a country like the United States, you not only celebrate the culture of where you’re from, but you also celebrate the languages of other countries. Language is one of the many keys to success.

Read the original article on Latinitas Magazine.